24/07/2019 0 Comments
One of the most difficult things I find about reading for people, is when they go away obviously disappointed.
It is a blessing and a curse to have a good public reputation because it means that some come expecting to be blown away, or in the very least to feel that I should have a firm grip on everything, this just isn’t always possible to achieve every single time, I am a human not a computer or super-hero!
Don't get me wrong, the vast majority of my readings are successful. I see rather a lot of people and so statistically I am going to have the odd "fail" once in a while. Just please don't get the impression this is an every day occurrence or that you need to worry that this will happen to you, these situations are the exception - not the rule. I just felt I should address this issue properly.
When we don’t have the connection, I normally can detect this within the first 20 or so minutes. When this occurs, it affects both parties. The client feels they invested the time and a deposit in the booking and naturally the anticipation is deflated. Unfortunately, some clients even become very uptight, moody (or once in a blue moon, even downright hostile). I can accept that drawing a blank, is going to happen every now and then, so it’s not an ego thing but it’s the way people then react that can deeply and profoundly affect me, because remember - part of my persona that assists me in reading, is to be “super-sensitive”.
I think the hardest to handle is when I cannot connect to someone (or even occasionally anyone) in the spirit world, sometimes this means a person becomes emotional or instantly melancholy. You just shouldn’t attend if that’s how it’s going to affect you. I don’t need to share in either your disapproval or disappointment. You will be offered a solution if you communicate kindly, but I won’t sit and make general sh*t up in order to placate you and believe me I’ve seen many who do! Whilst I am a Greater World medium and developed and chaired with them for 15 years, personally my preferred way of reading is using natural clairvoyance (clear seeing) and the use of cards (as a visual aid not the actual tool). My path is to assist people in moving forwards, not looking back and so sometimes mediumship is a part of my reading, but not every time.
To serve full time requires a great deal of commitment and finance outside of the readings. Many psychics have another job and only do this for pin money. But when this is your whole life, it is a very different proposition. What every client should know is that I do not charge for results, I charge for my time and administration, yet I also strive to ensure everyone is left happy at the end of the day.
And so, in order to be fair to both parties, my policy (which you contractually agree to, by ticking when you book) is clear, that if we agree to terminate before the reading is finished, you the client does not pay the majority of the fee which is outstanding and the deposit goes towards my running costs, which as a full time business running a website, marketing, booking software investment etc can be substantial. Either I will suggest termination if I detect it isn’t going so well, or you could nicely and clearly, without emotion communicate that you don’t feel we are getting anywhere and that you would like to bring the reading to a close.
In the last few years I have read for hundreds of people and most months go without incident. But twice I have experienced someone throw a strop, insisting that I should continue to read for them regardless and still charge nothing if it doesn’t suit them. Remember I offer SERVICE not SERVITUDE. A few times people have insisted their deposit be refunded as well as not being charged the balance - because I have “wasted their time” or am “trying to rip them off” OR even that the reading was very important to them and I’ve now affected their chances of happiness (ridiculous). This is emotional blackmail and childish stomping. Would you go into a restaurant, make a complaint and then after having some (or all if you are lucky) of the food taken off the bill, EXPECT the drinks be refunded as well? If the restaurant can afford to do this then that’s wonderful but it should be an expectation and you certainly shouldn’t become arsey or entitled. And that’s the problem today, there are many that have regular readings and treat it like a haircut, as opposed to those who are themselves spiritual, responsible and balanced about the perspective.
Once or twice, clients have sat through the reading then launched an avalanche of negativity after they have left which is even tougher to negate. It’s also hard to process because at every stage I check the client is happy, especially when the reading has ended and the sensitive part of handing over the balance takes place. Most recently I had one person who rang me up late at night and suggested I was “sh*t” because I had told them a truth about blocks they were facing, this involved them doing some work on themselves - something they didn’t want to hear; they were angry and had been drinking. I stick by my original prediction!
A difficult moment came a couple of weeks ago when I had two young ladies visit together. One was very experienced; she had many readings before my own and was a very strong and confident personality. The other lady was a shy and nervous newbie. When it became apparent that my mediumship was not working, I went to switch to giving a clairvoyant and tarot card reading, only to be told by the confident lady in no uncertain terms, that wasn’t what she had come for, however I have to say that she also said quite strongly that she couldn’t understand why this had happened, that lots of others had been able to connect for her, which made me feel like crap. Anyway, I offered her the opportunity to “cut her losses” and somewhat reluctantly she agreed she clearly wasn’t happy. However, meanwhile her friend had been somewhat anxious during the exchange because now there was an atmosphere. She asked if her friend could remain in the room, but I explained nicely that wouldn’t now be beneficial, I now needed clear energy. She looked at her friend who rather than encourage her to stay to see what happened, simply told her it was her choice. Without meaning to, that ensured her friend would leave too, so now I had not one but two “fails” at the same time. Writing off one reading was tough enough but to now swallow a second, through no fault of my own, felt dire. I couldn’t shake off the self-judgment. For 48 hours I closed my diary (luckily, I had no bookings in hand for those two days) and removed most references to mediumship on my website and other media. I have never changed that back, choosing now to make it clearer that it isn’t something I offer as “standard” to avoid that kind of obvious disapproving disappointment. I almost let it crush me but then the spirit world did their usual and sent me an angel in human form that reaffirmed I am meant to be doing this and it was a set-back to learn from, not the end of the world. Quickly I was back serving clients confidently again and even doing mediumship but this time knowing it was clear, no one is entitled and that I must shake of what amounted to self-pity and simply make myself clearer.
And then there is the elephant in the room. Occasionally, some of the responsibility should have been with the client. Info can be misread, interpreted wrongly and even a person’s personality and attitude can make a difference. Sometimes a confident, cocky, know it all, seen it all attitude can be off putting, as well a those who are abrasive or those that don’t follow simple instructions, can all inspire tension and hamper their own result. I’m never going to say that at the time not because I am disingenuous, but because it would just make me look bitter and escalate the awkwardness, besides which it is often much later I realise what triggered the energy. I am learning to become far more aware of it in order to manage the outcome better.
Part of my journey is and always will be about turning my life around and so naturally there are times when like everyone else, I doubt myself or give my power away. You will be a guest in my home, you cannot expect to treat me like someone who has failed to deliver what you expect, it just isn’t like that. This really isn’t like having your hair cut. Whilst I am a naturally confident person, like most I have something called self-esteem that can be challenging. If your vibration changes negatively and I sense it, it’s possible I can become a hedgehog and my spikes come out – something that isn’t going to make either of us feel any better. Then I go beat myself up not just because I “failed” the reading, but sad that I let the vibration make me a less loving version of myself, letting you down further.
I make myself available 10am-10pm often 7 days a week, just taking off the bare minimum to give you my clients the most flexibility as I know fitting a reading in can be tricky. I am 100% dedicated to serving you and the spirit world, without any question. I also donate a proportion of my income to charities which you will see if you like and follow my Chat 2 Charlie page on Facebook. I really care about the outcomes for my clients, but just because I am spiritual does not mean I have to agree with everything you say or do just because this is a service.
I also have the learning disability Asperger’s, which means that social cues aren’t always processed accurately, and emotions can be tough. So, it would help me to help you, if you deal with any disappointment privately and stick to raising the issue of not feeling the connection, without making it a deal.
In an ideal world, we would reach a fair resolution without emotion, and everyone walk away on a light vibration!